My urge to talk with someone comples me to write to myself, it's not an urge to write to anyone but to a specific someone, someone who cares someone who has to care I feel like i need her, but i know that i don't i feel like that she is perfect but i know she is not I feel like she can save me but i know she can not, I'm sick in the mind and i don't think anyone can heal me I want to not care but it drives me insane being here reminds me of her and i can't stop thinking, i know she is way passed me she is that kind a person, but i hope that maybe she misses me and is struggling just like me I really liked her I really cared for her but I don't know if that's because of her or because I have no one else I don't know who to like anymore I don't think i will ever find someone like her, but maybe i shouldn't, the only thing truly special about her was that she chose me... I didn't see her as real, and i lied to her and I couldn't just let her be couldn't waste the chance and couldn't break her heart, but i did at the end anyway It hurts it really does, and i thought that I'm fine, I'm not fine at all I need someone in my life, i can't not, my body urges me it begs me for it I see no point in going on without someone It is driving me insane